From October 2021 to October 2022, I moved four different times — first to a different country and then to three different states. I lived in the United Kingdom for a month, Arkansas for 2 months, and Washington State for 9 months. Most recently I moved to the state of Oregon and became a homeowner, but it doesn’t take long to learn that feeling truly at home requires more than a mortgage. Fortunately, after years of traveling and moving, I’ve learned how to find comfort wherever I am in the world and want to help you feel comfortable in your own new city.
Finalize Your Move
Before I get into all the little things that have helped me feel comfortable living in a new place, I should mention a few practical ones. First, it’s comforting to know where to go for essentials and emergencies. I personally didn’t feel like Washington was really “home” until I updated my health care coverage/providers and scheduled important appointments. This step was not only practical but helped me feel grounded and not associate every part of my life with my last place of residency.
Some other things that helped me feel prepared and grounded included finding a mechanic for my car (which was needed within the first month), arranging dependable transportation, locating the post office and DMV, and setting up all the utilities for my house (electric, water, trash, gas, etc.). Beyond this, there are some other necessary steps to take to finalize your transition when you move to a new state. These include applying for a new license and registering your vehicle, if applicable. It may seem small but I officially felt like an Oregon resident once I received these things. Of course, if you’re only living somewhere for a few months, these steps may not be necessary. For more practical tips for moving, see my tips for moving across the country.
Explore Your City
Once you have all of your essentials figured out, have fun exploring and learning how to get from place to place. You may start with the places closest to where you live, or you may find yourself frequenting the other side of town. Depending on where you live, it may also be fun to switch up your mode of transportation. Consider taking the bus or walking around downtown. If you’re on your own and concerned about safety in your area or around the local parks, look up the best walkable neighborhoods in town and start there.
If you plan to mainly drive around your new city, I highly recommend signing up for a food delivery service as a side hustle. You’ll be making extra cash while learning about different restaurants in the area and how to get around. I did this myself, and in just one month of living in Oregon I felt more at home than I did after 6 months in Washington. It’s definitely a different idea, but I immediately felt more confident in my new city when I started recognizing street names and relying less on Apple Maps to get me everywhere I needed to go.
Shop Locally
I don’t know about you, but finding a new place to buy groceries can be incredibly stressful. In my experience, I felt more at home once I knew where to shop. If you just moved to a new city, decide where you’ll be buying your groceries, where you’ll get gas, and where you might look for clothing.
Have fun exploring local bookstores, boutiques, thrift shops, and more. Maybe you’ll decide to subscribe to a local butcher or frequent the local farmer’s market. Does your new city have your favorite restaurant? Or is there a local restaurant you want to try? Stop for a cup of coffee from a local cafe in the morning or grab a drink from a bar in the evening. Have fun discovering both familiar locations and those that are foreign to you.
Treat Yourself
Whether you intend on staying somewhere for a year, 4 months, or 2 weeks, there are several small things you can do to feel comforted in your new city. For example, even though it may not be needed immediately, I felt more at home in Washington after getting a haircut. Finding a new stylist is hard, and you may never find someone who perfectly replaces the one you had before, but looking for a new one can be a fun experience. Once you find one you’ll feel right at home. Alternatively, you can get your nails done, or even get a massage. If these are normal activities for you, you’ll feel like you have a routine, and if not, you can enjoy being pampered after a stressful move.
Embrace Coffee Culture
Another easy thing to do is to find a local coffee shop and become a regular. You don’t have to go everyday, but I’ve found that coffee culture is a really great way to get to know your city and the people who live there, or to simply comfort you when you’re missing home. You can choose to people watch in peace or connect with those around you. Additionally, if you have questions about local restaurants or activities, baristas are great people to ask. The same is true for bartenders and the wait staff at restaurants. After all, these people usually live there or somewhere close.
Find a Community
When I moved to the Pacific Northwest, I didn’t know anyone except for my roommate. Neither of us had family in the area, I wasn’t attending any school programs, and I had a very eclectic work environment, so making friends was challenging. I didn’t even get to know my neighbors in Washington because I had such a temporary mindset, believing I would only be in my apartment complex for a short period of time. I remember thinking it was impossible for anyone to make friends unless they were in school, church, or certain career fields.
Today, I mostly work from home, so meeting people feels even more challenging but still important. I find it comforting to know there are people I can reach out to if I need to, or if I want some social interaction. Even if you’re skillful and independent, it’s helpful to know someone close by in case of an emergency. This could be your neighbors, apartment manager, or landlord.
Other ways to organically find a community include signing up for a gym membership or workout class, attending a church with similar values and beliefs, getting to know your coworkers or classmates, and becoming a regular at your favorite restaurant or cafe. It’s not always fun being the new person, but at least you have a legitimate reason for not knowing your way around or having many connections yet. You shouldn’t feel any shame asking your boss, teachers, or coworkers for local recommendations and advice.
Embrace being the new person, and before you realize it you’ll feel right at home.